moving on
by burninghighwayskyline
Summary: His face, his voice, his words, they never leave your mind, nor do they even try to escape your dreams." Onesided NikkiCam. One-shot. R&R?


**Another one-shot. I think I'm gonna write a multi chapter-fic soon! **

**Anyways, I hope you like this! Please review! Sorry if its bad :/.**

**Don't own the Clique...**

* * *

July.

July is your favorite month.

When the word July slips off someone's tongue, it's your first instinct to smile.

July is where you want to live. Forever.

July is where you want the world to stop. To never go on.

July is where you want to escape to.

July is where you want to be, and never leave.

And why? Simply because July was the month you met him. The month you fell for him. The month you shared with him. And the _only _month you got to spend with him.

-x-

He was more than a summer fling. If there's anything on this scary, lonely, cruel Earth, that you know, it's that. Despite the constant reminders from your friends that you were probably nothing more than a_ toy _to him, you don't believe it. They don't know him. His face, his voice, his words, they never leave your mind, nor do they even try to escape your dreams. He was your first love. And there was absolutely no denying it.

No denying what you went through together.

You remember.

-x-

"_I guess this is goodbye." He says to you with a sad smile lingering on his soft, pastel pink lips._

_You sigh, returning the sad smile he just gave you._

"_I guess it is." _

"_I'll email you everyday." He states sincerely._

Liar.

_You smile a genuine smile this time. "I'll be sure to respond."_

"_Bye Nikki."_

"_Bye Cam."_

_And then you do the action that will remain in your mind for months. Haunting your dreams and screaming through your thoughts at every possible moment in time._

_You __kiss. _

-x-

It's a new school year now. July is long gone, but certainly not long forgotten. You walk down the halls with a few of your close friends at your side, hugging a book or two to your chest. And you can't help but think of him.

His exotic eyes and the way his practically jet black hair falls over his face in jagged ridges. But you quickly shove the thought away. Well not _away,_ just into the back of your mind. It'll return later. It always does.

-x-

"Mark Athens it totally checking you out." Your long-time friend, Sari, whispers to you.

You sneak a peak over at the blonde boy with dark brown eyes sitting across the small, stuffy classroom. When your eyes connect, you cross your fingers hoping that on some once in a lifetime miracle that you completely forget about Cam Fisher.

And what a surprise…

You _don't._

_-x-_

"Nikki! Stop acting like this! He's not worth the misery you're going through. Just accept it Nikki. He's moved on to newer- less pretty if I might add- girls."

You wince. Because you know that the words that just came from Sari's slightly chapped, un-glossed lips are true.

You've seen her. The _new _girl, that is. And she's, she's, simply _innocent. _She looks (or at least from her Facebook photos) completely oblivious to the pain, the agony, her boyfriend's summer fling is going through, partly because of her.

Oh, yes. You've accepted it, with much help. To you, it was love. But to him, it was a… summer fling.

**Definition-** A sexual adventure free of hassles, Commitments or drama, timed for the summer only.

-x-

'Cam Fisher is a player', you decide. He toys with people's emotions. Saris', been a lot of help actually, with the whole Cam thing. She's the one that's making you say things out loud.

"_Say it!"_

"_I don't want to."_

"_Nikki you have to. You have to admit it out loud."_

"_But that'll make it true."_

"_It's always been true, Nikki."_

"_Fine. Cam Fisher is… a man-whore."_

"_Go on."_

"_He never loved me." _

"_And?"_

"_He's not worth the time and emotion I've been wasting."_

"_Good! Do you feel in the least bit better?"_

"…_No"_

-x-

"Today is the day, at this very mall, that you will find a new boy."

"I don't want a new boy, I want him." You state.

"But he doesn't want you." She points out, attempting the tough love approach.

You wince, realizing it's true. It occurs to you that you've been realizing a lot of stuff lately. And you hate every moment of it.

"Oh Lord! Look at him!" Sari states happily. She points indiscreetly to a boy with jet-black hair, and green eyes.

_Jet-black hair._

"No not him. Definitely not him."

Sari shrugs. "Suit yourself. Mmm'kay moving on."

This is the moment you realize that you'll probably never end up with a jet-black haired boy in the end.

It's prone to bringing back memories.

Good memories that is, but only for a moment.

-x-

It's getting easier to forget him now. No not _easy, _but easier.

You're finding it harder to remember what his face looks like exactly, which you remind yourself 'is a good thing'.

You're finding it harder to remember his exact words to you that July. You still recall them though. It just takes a little more effort. You really want to write them down. Everything. His description, your moments together, what his voice sounds like.

But you don't. You know if you do, there would most probably be never any hope in moving on.

And moving on is officially your new goal. Not _forgetting_, that will never happen, it's just not possible. But _moving on_, that may just be possible.

-x-

It's June 29th. And You're packing for camp. You decide that _he _is not going to keep you away from your long-time camp friends.

He doesn't have that power over you anymore. And your starting to hate that he ever did.

You haven't dated anyone yet. No he still has that much power, but on the bright side, you are starting to find most guys attractive.

Oh, and jet-black haired guys don't give you an immediate pain in your stomach anymore.

-x-

Today's the day.

The day you return.

The bus honks at you from the street in front of your house. You hug your parents goodbye, grab your suitcase, and walk out your front door.

The bus driver greets you with a hug, after all you've been coming to this camp for years.

You turn your vision to the bus. Your bestfriends are all waving at you frantically, screaming that they missed you. You run to them and give them all hugs.

You can't help but look around the bus -after you get settled into a seat- for him. He was always picked up before you on the way to camp. Him living in Westchester and everything.

But, you don't see him.

So then, you, _smile._

_

* * *

**Oh God. Was that Horrible? Review?**_


End file.
